THOUGHTS ON DATING OR NOT & BEING 60 plus

Couldn't find any titles on this subject but I am sure they are someplace.

I'm 64, average body, reasonably attractive, very smart (I'm inquisitive) and have a GREAT sense of humor.

I've been trying online dating for many many years and I approached this endeavor with a positive attitude. You know, you want someone you can share time and activities with plus benefits. I know me, I know my needs and wants and the difference between them. I also know my deal breakers. I'm fairly independant and so my private time is precious and absolutely needed by me.

As so many others have most likely found, it just didn't work for me. I know, I know some people do well and find their mate. I'm not looking for a soul mate but a heart mate. Well I've finally made a decision and I'm now comfortable with it.

I seek only friends, activity partners with no emotional connection i.e. not a mate. I have peace and quiet in my life and that's what I revere. I don't have family and economically I can no longer socialize with my main friends.

I don't know if I'll meet anyone but wouldn't it be nice to have friends to do things with. I love to laugh and I can laugh at myself but it really is fun to see friends laughing.

What do you think? Have you reached any decisions about finding a mate? I don't include soul mate in heart mate. Soul mate is totally separate and you can't look for it, it will find you AND a soul mate need not be a love interest nor even a person of the opposite sex. A family member or a close friend can be a soul mate. They are rare to come by and I have been blessed with two in my 64 years. Both were males and only one was a heart mate.

What's your position on dating and on line searching? Of course I include the safety factor but THAT is up to the individual and common sense.

Anyone want to share?

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Zee on March 28, 2009 at 12:53pm
Oh ok, what do you do?
Permalink Reply by Zee on April 1, 2009 at 7:34am
hmmmm no comments. I am talking to myself clearly. Well yesterday, I closed all my online dating accounts. Just want peace and laughter.
Permalink Reply by Zee on April 2, 2009 at 9:29am
thank you.
Permalink Reply by Toni on April 26, 2009 at 1:36pm
Oh boy, I am in the same place. Independent women don't do well online.. we seem to let the world know we don't need men at all and so we fall short of catching what we want and not necessarily what we need.

A light bulb moment came on holiday last month when I read the book, Act like a lady, think like a man, author is Steve Harvey. Absolutely eye opening especially for independent women and how to approach the gentle men we want, and really hysterical. He is a professional comedian and this book kept me in laughter. Read up, it may help get it!!
Permalink Reply by Zee on April 26, 2009 at 2:30pm
You know what I really like.I'd love to have platonic male friends (maybe 2 or 3) get all guzzied up and go out somewhere, even bowling. I'd just like to enjoy myself and feel like a lady.

Had to go to a funeral last weekend for a dear dear friend and I had a problem picking what to wear. Way back when I worked and socialized I had a smashing wardrobe. Now its pretty well all jeans. Fortunately I did have dress black slacks. Couldn't wear a dress or skirt as I just couldn't force myself into panty hose, don't even think I can get any heels on my feet and certainly not those 6" babies.

Basically I'm into casual and I love capri pants. I'd just like to go out enjoy myself with someone or a group. Everyone doing Dutch Treat. Its not Rocket Science but it sure is hard.

Anyone want to go bowling? hahahaha if I were fortunate to have a 'date' to dress up for, I'd consider it carefully but knowing me I'd say could we do something casual.
Permalink Reply by Zee on April 30, 2009 at 11:59am
I am enjoying my time here at Zoomers. I've said it before. its so nice dealing with mature people who don't feel challenged by somebody else's ideas, etc.... I realize that there is more than a 20+ yr age range here but generally speaking I couldn't guess anyone's age due to their topics, responses. That's nice. In here I don't feel old, I feel social. Pretty well given up on dating. I have more on my plate than I can handle right now so something has to give. All I want is peace, health, ability to laugh at myself and the ability to make others laugh if indicated.

Zoomers meets my social needs. THANK YOU ALL!
Permalink Reply by Zee on May 1, 2009 at 7:55am
Yes but not the sexual need BUT I control that. I guess what I'm saying is that I'd like to fall in friend with someone, establish a mental connection and have the relationship evolve into the more intimate 'love'. THAT is the ideal way but is it reality?
Permalink Reply by Sheila on May 31, 2009 at 5:05pm
Hi Zee,
I have tried the online dating with the famous e harmony. You go to all the trouble filling in all their request so they match you with the right people only to be given a group of men who you would never socialize with, on top of that even though these sites say they are safe and free you get a request to pay if you want to have email contact.
I live and work in Mexico, not because I chose to but because I got abandoned here by a Mexican Canadian who I thought was my real mate.Instead he was a liar and more.
Instead of letting all this get to me I have been working non stop for the last 4 years, enjoying many experiences and learning a lot. I have a purpose to each day and take the opportunities that come my way to enrich my life.
I would love a companion, someone to share time with, someone to chat with, travel with but I will not go looking. If someone comes into my life I will consider it a gift and enjoy.
Internet dating works for a few, but for thousands of others it becomes a nightmare. I know of 7 women here who wish they had never done it. Some have lost their savings,
others have been used by Muslim men to enter the country. My question is why take a chance. What ever happened to just plain meeting someone.
Stay active , be happy and above all be content.
Permalink Reply by Debbie Chiaramonte on June 17, 2009 at 10:01am
even though im only 41yrs. old i struggle with the same things you do. ive been divorced for 8yrs. now and have tried the online dating thing off and on with less than favorable results to put it politely. i like you was positive about the whole thing but was disappointed in the kind of men i was meeting. most were not what they said they were and some were down right sick. i dont have any advice for you sorry but i wanted to let you know that your not the only one with this dilemma. where do you meet people now a days??? i found it very unsafe on line dating because people want phone numbers and where you live etc. right away and want to meet right away which makes me uncomfortable. its really hard i understand, hard to find a place where you feel safe and can take the time to get to know someone first. everything is rush rush nowadays and i found the online dating experience fell in that category as well. it's like going thru the drive thru at Tim Hortons!!! lol That's not how you find a solemate!!! I gave up with the online dating for now to focus on my schooling but i am lonely and i suppose i will continue to be...bottom line i find online dating like your first time having sex-scary and rushed-nothing like it should be..
Permalink Reply by Robert Taylor on October 12, 2009 at 5:27pm
Zee said:
You know what I really like.I'd love to have platonic male friends (maybe 2 or 3) get all guzzied up and go out somewhere, even bowling. I'd just like to enjoy myself and feel like a lady.

Had to go to a funeral last weekend for a dear dear friend and I had a problem picking what to wear. Way back when I worked and socialized I had a smashing wardrobe. Now its pretty well all jeans. Fortunately I did have dress black slacks. Couldn't wear a dress or skirt as I just couldn't force myself into panty hose, don't even think I can get any heels on my feet and certainly not those 6" babies.

Basically I'm into casual and I love capri pants. I'd just like to go out enjoy myself with someone or a group. Everyone doing Dutch Treat. Its not Rocket Science but it sure is hard.

Anyone want to go bowling? hahahaha if I were fortunate to have a 'date' to dress up for, I'd consider it carefully but knowing me I'd say could we do something casual.

Zee

We are out there, many of my wifes friends are mine also, I can sit and have a coffee with them without my wife being there, without any other connotations coming up other than perhaps a little joking around as more than one of them are capable of coming up with things that have double meanings. But that's where it stops. The one I snuggle up with is the one that I have been married to for 52 years.
Guzzied up for me is a new golf shirt and cargo pants. Suits jackets and ties are for funerals, Legion Meetings and the Remembrance Day parade. After 35 years of wearing a tie daily, I hate them. besides I live in the north, where guzzied up means a new red plaid hairy shirt new jeans and a new pair of safety boots and thats just for the girls. lol
Permalink Reply by MarleneMaile on October 13, 2009 at 10:07pm
Dear Robert,
It is so nice to see that you still have the love and respect for your wife This is as it should
be. You both must be doing the right thing for a good marriage.
I applaud you both.
Marlene
Permalink Reply by Sedona on October 31, 2009 at 1:50pm
Hello Ladies and Gents:

Fair topic here
as so many I would think
in this situation

I have tried the dating sites
have a profile on the go now
but you see I screen people
carefully and some of these men
they wont send an internet, want you to phone them
right away etc. Nope, not for me, I find out
details about the person

I am really an outdoorsy type of gal
and fairly well travelled

So for now, it is peace of mind
being active and meeting some
at the community centre
men and women

what sites did you people use?


Sedona :)

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