"Did you hear about the thoughtful Scotsman who was heading out to the pub? He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, 'Jackie - put your hat and coat on lassie.'
She replied, 'Awe Iain that's nice - are you taking me to…"
"Old Sandy McPherson was dying. Tenderly, his wife Maggie knelt by his bedside and asked, 'Anything I can get you, Sandy?' No reply.'Have ye no' a last wish, Sandy?'Faintly, came the answer ... 'A wee bit of yon…"