Latest Activity: Apr 8, 2014
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I'll need to see your licence and registration, "says the policeman after stopping a middle-aged couple. "You were speeding."
"But ofiicer," says the husband, "I was under the speed limit."
"Sir, I measured your speed and you were going too fast."
"I was not speeding!" insists the man. "Your radar gun must be broken."
At this point, the wife leans over. "It's no use arguing with him, officer," she says apologetically, "He always gets this stubborn when he's been drinking."
To Leeners ...loved the Schnauzer joke ...lmao
Hazards of Drinking and Driving I would like to share a personal experience with my closest friends about drinking and driving. As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from an occasional social session over the years. A couple of nights ago, I was out for an evening with friends and had a couple of cocktails and some rather nice red wine. Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before ~ I took a cab home. Sure enough, I passed a police road block but, since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise; as I have never driven a cab before and am not sure where I got it or what to do with it now that it's in my garage.
My neighbor found out that her dog ( a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the pharmacist and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month. The lady went to the pharmacist and bought some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, he told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deoderant for several days"The lady said, "I'm not using it under my arms."The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days."The lady replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."The pharmacist says, "Well stay off your bicycle for about a week."
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