laugh out loud

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Comment by Louise Roach on January 27, 2013 at 8:44pm

I'll need to see your licence and registration, "says the policeman after stopping a middle-aged couple.  "You were speeding."

"But ofiicer," says the husband, "I was under the speed limit."

"Sir, I measured your speed and you were going too fast."

"I was not speeding!" insists the man.  "Your radar gun must be broken."

At this point, the wife leans over.  "It's no use arguing with him, officer," she says apologetically, "He always gets this stubborn when he's been drinking."

Comment by Louise Roach on January 27, 2013 at 8:39pm

To Leeners ...loved the Schnauzer joke ...lmao

Comment by Bill Arowsmith on December 25, 2012 at 6:19pm

Hazards of Drinking and Driving

I would like to share a personal experience with my closest friends about drinking and driving.

As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from an occasional social session over the years.

A couple of nights ago, I was out for an evening with friends and had a couple of cocktails and some rather nice red wine.

Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before ~ I took a cab home.

Sure enough, I passed a police road block but, since it was a cab, they waved it past.

I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise; as I have never driven a cab before and am not sure where I got it or what to do with it now that it's in my garage.

Comment by Leeners on February 17, 2012 at 11:45am

My neighbor found out  that her dog ( a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the  veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He  cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to  tell the lady that, if she wanted to keep this  from recurring, she should  go to the pharmacist and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's  ears once a month.
The lady went to the pharmacist and bought some  "Nair" hair remover.  At the register, he told her, "If you're going to use  this under your arms, don't use deoderant for several days"
The lady  said, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The pharmacist said, "If you're  using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days."
The lady  replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either.  If you must know, I'm using  it on my Schnauzer."
The pharmacist says, "Well stay off your bicycle for  about a week."


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