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THE NEW LAUGH OUT LOUD

Tell us your favourite joke and funny experience. This is a feel-good group. All downers will be deleted.
"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone."

 

WARNING!!! May contain nuts.

Members: 89
Latest Activity: on Monday

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Comment by laura52 on Monday

My husband will love this one Dennis. 

Comment by Dennis Moeller on Monday

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My ...wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said 'nothing'.

The reason I said 'nothing' instead of saying 'just thinking' is because she then would have asked 'about what?'
At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.

Finally I pondered an age old question:
Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they "know"?

Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really "know", here is the reason for my conclusion.
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

I rest my case. Time for another beer, and then maybe a nap in that hammock.

Comment by GREGORY A HEENAN on Sunday

:o

I saw my doctor this morning and dropped my trousers to show him the large boil on my backside.

He looked a bit embarrassed and said "make an appointment at the office " and carried on with his shopping.

:)

Comment by GREGORY A HEENAN on Sunday

.

Newly diagnosed with insomnia,
I said, "Is it serious, doc?"


"There's no need for alarm" he replied

:)

Comment by laura52 on Saturday

HA!HA!HA!  We all must be.

Comment by GREGORY A HEENAN on Friday

Comment by laura52 on April 28, 2016 at 9:21am

Thanks for the laughs Dennis. 

Comment by Dennis Moeller on April 27, 2016 at 6:58pm

The recession has hit everyone in Alberta really hard:


- My friend in Edmonton just received a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

...

- Calgary CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

- Husky Energy laid off 5 Senators.

- Mormons are now just getting by with only one wife.

- Alberta’s McDonalds’ are now selling a 1/4 ouncer.

- Angelina Jolie adopted a child from Alberta.

- Formerly rich parents in Calgary are now firing their nannies and are busy learning their children’s names.

- A truckload of Albertans was recently caught sneaking into Mexico.

- And some Albertans have already left for Yuma, Arizona, to save on heating costs and have better access to cheap booze and to find a safe way to sneak into Mexico before Trump builds his wall.

Comment by laura52 on April 24, 2016 at 6:02pm

Happy Passover Gregory.  I am just seeing your posts now.  I loved the patent for TP.

Comment by laura52 on April 24, 2016 at 6:01pm

Moral of the story:    
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. 

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. 

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!   
      
 

 

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Community Activity

alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"lol had another long census form tonight , but done for night tired cleaning etc tomorrow should be easier  then cleaning lady comes friday"
53 minutes ago
alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"not much on tv tonight but will find something so its almost "
8 hours ago
alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"busy days  had my first long census but its done took about 10mins now think have a couple more coming"
8 hours ago
alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
""ONE"s thursday "
8 hours ago

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