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THE NEW LAUGH OUT LOUD

Tell us your favourite joke and funny experience. This is a feel-good group. All downers will be deleted.
"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone."

 

WARNING!!! May contain nuts.

Members: 91
Latest Activity: 9 hours ago

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Comment by GREGORY A HEENAN 9 hours ago

Daughter: Mommy, what's it like to have the most awesome daughter in the world ?


Mother: I don't know, ask your grandmother.

Comment by Yvonne 10 hours ago

YAHOO ... CALGARY STAMPEDE STARTS TODAY ..JULY 3

THERE WAS A GREAT STAMPEDE PARADE TODAY ALSO.

GOOD TIMES ALL AROUND YAHOO !!!!!! 

Comment by Lynne G. 16 hours ago

HAH!  Thanks Harold and Greg!

Comment by GREGORY A HEENAN 17 hours ago

Comment by harold yardy yesterday
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl'.

The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?

'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'

'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later
��
so you may as well tell me now.  Was it Tina Minetti?

'I cannot say.'

'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'

'I'll never tell.'

'Was it Nina Capelli?'

'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?'

'My lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'

'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration.
'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that
,
b ut you've sinned and have to atone.  You cannot be
an altar boy now for 4 months.  
Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew,   and his friend 
' Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get ?
'Four months vacation and five good leads.
Comment by Lynne G. yesterday

Three men died and stood in front of God. God asked the first man if he had been faithful to his wife. The man admitted to two affairs during his marriage. God gave him a compact car to drive in heaven.The second man admitted to only one affair and was given a mid-sized car.The third man was asked the same question and said that he had been faithful to his wife until the day he died. God praised him and gave him a big luxury car.A week later, the three guys met in a parking lot in heaven. The man driving the luxury car began to cry."What's the matter?" the other two men asked.He replied, "I just passed my wife, and she was riding a bike!".

Comment by Lynne G. on Wednesday

A couple made a deal  that whoever died first would come back and inform
the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was
no after life at  all.

After a long life  together, the husband was the first to die. True to his
word, he made the first contact: "Marion, Marion."

"Is that you, Bob?"

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"That's wonderful!  What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's
off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then
have sex a couple of more times.. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud -- lots
of greens).  Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex
the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to the golf course again.
Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and
then  the next day it starts all over again".

"Oh, Bob!  Are you in Heaven?"

"*No... I'm a rabbit somewhere in Arizona.*"

Comment by Lynne G. on Wednesday

Thanks, Yvonne!!

Comment by Yvonne on Wednesday

TO ALL MY CANADIAN FRIENDS ....

HAPPY CANADA DAY, on JULY 1-2015

Comment by Yvonne on Wednesday

Beer, According To 7 Year Old Kids

BEER  BY SEVEN YEAR OLD KIDS


A handful of 7 year old children in Australia were asked what they thought of beer. 
  There were some interesting responses, but the last one is especially touching.

  •  'I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mum gets.'
    --Tim, 7 years old
  •  'Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice.'
    --Melanie, 7 years  old
     
  • 'My Mum and Dad both like beer. My Mum gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn't think this is very funny.'
    --Grady, 7 years old
     
  • ''My  Mum and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they  drink the  more they give kisses to each other, which is a good  thing.'
    --Toby, 7 years old
  •  'My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn't have too much.
    --Sarah, 7 years  old
  • 'My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances.
      One time he danced right into the pool.'
    --Lily, 7 years  old
  • 'I don’t like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting.'
    --Ethan, 7 years  old
  • 'I give Dad's beer to the dog and he goes to sleep.'
    --Shirley, 7  years old

 

AND THE BEST RESPONSE

  • 'My Mum drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father.
      Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense.'

                  --Jack, 7 years

 

 

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Glady Dixon commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"Mornin'' all     Laura52   I hope the humidity doesn't get too bad.  Sunday to Wednesday is showing temps of 28.  Not the best for sure.  I hope Bob starts feeling better as quick as you…"
14 minutes ago
Glady Dixon commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"Caption - I am the needle !"
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alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"how about a caption ? "
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alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"Retros Saturday "
2 hours ago

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