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THE NEW LAUGH OUT LOUD

Tell us your favourite joke and funny experience. This is a feel-good group. All downers will be deleted.
"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone."

 

WARNING!!! May contain nuts.

Members: 89
Latest Activity: Sep 23

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Comment by Lowell Brandon on September 23, 2016 at 2:08am
At 20 years of age, the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the judgment; at 50 the regrets; at 60 the pain; at 70 the Depends; at 80 the dementia; at 90 take me home, Lord!
Comment by Lowell Brandon on September 17, 2016 at 2:19am

Now, how did my car get up that pole?

Comment by Lowell Brandon on September 17, 2016 at 2:17am

You're doing it wrong.

Comment by Lowell Brandon on September 17, 2016 at 2:15am

Sleeping in a car in Canada is illegal.  Oops.

Comment by Lowell Brandon on September 17, 2016 at 2:11am
Comment by GREGORY A HEENAN on September 12, 2016 at 2:48pm

Comment by Lowell Brandon on September 9, 2016 at 12:34am

Seen on a tee shirt.  This ex husband advertises himself like he was a dog:

Previously owned husband

Answers to “Rick”

Loves female owners

Good with leash

Loves walks

House trained

Loyal

Tame

Loves hugs

May get frisky at times

Call 1-800-IM-YOURS

Comment by GREGORY A HEENAN on September 3, 2016 at 10:01am

.

This guy walks into a bar in Redneck county and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised and the bartender looks around and says: “You ain’t from around here, are ya… where ya from, boy?”

The guy says, “I’m from England.”

The bartender asks, “What th’ hell you do in England?”

...

The guy responds, “I’m a taxidermist.”

The bartender asks, “A taxidermist… now just what th’ hell is a taxidermist?”

The guy says, “I mount animals.”

The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, “It’s okay boys, he’s one of us!”

.

Comment by GREGORY A HEENAN on September 3, 2016 at 10:00am

.

A redneck husband, who has six children, begins to call his wife “mother of six” rather than by her first name.The wife, amused at first, chuckles.

A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of this. “Mother of six,” the redneck would say, “what’s for dinner tonight? Get me a beer!” She gets very frustrated.

Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yells out, “Mother of six, I think it’s time to go!” The wife immediately shouts back, “I’ll be right with you, father of four!”

.

Comment by Lowell Brandon on August 30, 2016 at 7:41pm

Ultimate Putdown

Went to the barber the other day.  The barber said, "You don't have enough hair to cut."  I must be getting old.

 

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alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"last for Friday "one"s "
1 hour ago
alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
""one"s for Friday "
2 hours ago
alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"Weekend kitties (no hidden"one') "
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alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"Been out early to beat the rain  got papers etc, now to work"
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