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THE NEW LAUGH OUT LOUD

Tell us your favourite joke and funny experience. This is a feel-good group. All downers will be deleted.
"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone."

 

WARNING!!! May contain nuts.

Members: 91
Latest Activity: 1 hour ago

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Comment by Lynne G. 1 hour ago

HAHAHA  Thanks Dennis, nice to see you!!

Comment by Dennis Moeller 1 hour ago

Toronto Woman Shot In Her Own Driveway

Linda Plews, 26, a resident of Toronto was visiting her in-laws and, while
there, went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Later, her
husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with the windows
rolled up and her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.
He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes
were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and
Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been
holding her brains in for over an hour.

The husband called the police and the paramedics, who broke into the car
because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her
head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread
dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded
from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad
of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out
what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially
passed out, but quickly recovered.

Linda is a blonde, a Trudeau supporter and a die-hard Maple Leafs fan, but
that could all be a coincidence..

Comment by Lynne G. 2 hours ago

>> > Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby...
>> > Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed And pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.
>> > The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed..
>> > Kathleen quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place.....smack his ass again!'

Comment by Lynne G. 19 hours ago

That is tooooooo funny, Daffyd, thanks!

Comment by Daffyd 20 hours ago

Be SURE to watch this, it is beyond hilarious!
If you love dogs, you will really enjoy this......

If Not , you will still enjoy it
Be Sure To Watch The Dog's Expression When The Plate is Removed ……


    
     http://www.youtube.com/embed/ub1Dc3NHZ3s?autoplay=1&cc_load_pol...

Comment by Lynne G. yesterday

Good ones, ha ha ha...thanks, Daffyd!

Comment by Daffyd yesterday

DIVORCE VS. MURDER…

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

 

Comment by Daffyd yesterday

 

The pharmacist's eyes got big  and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law? I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail!  All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied,

"You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Comment by Daffyd yesterday

How do you like your porridge in the morning? I like mine with a kiss....

OH MY GRAND PA PA

welcome.gif

A tough old sheep farmer from Scotland gave some good advice to his grandson. He told him that the secret to a long life was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder onto his porridge every morning.
The grandson followed this dictum religiously until his death at the venerable age of 103. He left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great grandchildren, 25 great great grandchildren.......... and a forty foot hole where the crematorium used to be.



Comment by Lynne G. yesterday
On average, an American or Canadian man will have sex two to three times a week, whereas a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year.
    
This is upsetting news to most of my friends, as they had no idea they were Japanese.
 

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Community Activity

alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"well just going to do crossword, sun is shining as it was this morning, but I was up before, lol but as you saw no color, heating up nicely today will walk later"
45 minutes ago
Glady Dixon commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"Lynne G   I used to use Noxema too. "
1 hour ago
Glady Dixon commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"Lynne G    You might need a clothes peg on your nose but your chest, nose, etc.  will feel a lot better !  Sun is shining down here and the temp. is 45.  I think there was frost down here last night too !"
1 hour ago
Dennis Moeller commented on Annette Tilden's group THE NEW LAUGH OUT LOUD
"Toronto Woman Shot In Her Own Driveway Linda Plews, 26, a resident of Toronto was visiting her in-laws and, whilethere, went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Later, herhusband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with…"
1 hour ago

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