Tell us your favourite joke and funny experience. This is a feel-good group. All downers will be deleted.
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Comment by Dennis Moeller 2 hours ago

Subject: Lion Tamer

A  circus owner runs an ad for a “Lion Tamer Wanted' and two people show up.

One is a retired golfer in his late-sixties and the other is a drop-dead
gorgeous brunette with a killer body in her mid-twenties.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it.  This is one
ferocious lion.  He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or
you're history.

Here's your equipment -- a chair, a whip and a gun. Who wants to try out

The gorgeous brunette says, "I'll go first."

She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the
lion's cage.

The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her.  As he gets
close, the gorgeous brunette throws open her coat revealing her beautiful,
perfect, naked body.

The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts
licking her feet and ankles.

He continues to lick and kiss every inch of her body for several minutes,
then lays down and rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's jaw is on the floor!!  He says, "That's amazing!  I've
never seen anything like that in my life!"

He then turns to the retired golfer and asks, "Can you top what you just saw
in there?"

 The tough old golfer replies, "Possibly...but you've got to get that lion
out of there first."

Comment by laura52 4 hours ago

You got me at the end of that one Lynne.

Comment by Lynne G. 5 hours ago

A Farm Kid Joins the Marines
O Dear Ma and Pa,
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth
your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch,
mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is no so bad, there's warm water.Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes,
ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.
We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes. 
Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake . I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in. 
Your loving daughter, 
Comment by Lynne G. 20 hours ago
When I was young I decided I wanted to be a doctor so I took the entrance
exam to go to Medical School.

One  of the questions asked us was to rearrange the letters PNEIS into the
name of an important human body
part which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered spine are doctors today. The rest of us are sending jokes
via email.
Comment by Lynne G. yesterday

Well, the Alps dooooo need snow...I'll send ours over...  :-)

Comment by Richard Davis yesterday

Sorry Lynne it was the best O could come up with, thankfully no snow yet, although it has started in the alps. 

Comment by Lynne G. yesterday

Okay, Rich...tooooo corny....consider yourself kicked out of LOL, I know you make a habit of being kicked out of Forums...ha ha ha...

Too funny, toooooo corny...hey, any excuse to get RID of you!!!

Have a great day.  Hope Vienna doesn't have SNOW!!

Comment by Richard Davis yesterday

Did You Know This About Leather Dresses?

 Do you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally???
Ever wonder why?

It's because she smells like a new car.
Comment by Lynne G. yesterday

Thanks, Lowell...pix is a hoot and how true about reckless driving!

Harold, darn, my computer isn't showing me anything but an icon.

Hope others can see your posts.  Thanks!

Comment by Lowell Brandon yesterday

Redneck House Alarm

Redneck House Alarm


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