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THE NEW LAUGH OUT LOUD

Tell us your favourite joke and funny experience. This is a feel-good group. All downers will be deleted.
"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone."

 

WARNING!!! May contain nuts.

Members: 89
Latest Activity: Sep 23

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Comment by Lowell Brandon on August 9, 2016 at 2:55pm

Comment by Lowell Brandon on August 9, 2016 at 2:54pm

Comment by GREGORY A HEENAN on August 5, 2016 at 3:33pm

.

A guy and a girl are lying in a room after just having sex. The girl lays on her side of the bed and rests. The guy goes to his side of the bed and says to himself, "Man, oh Man I finally did it! I'm no longer a virgin."

The girl overhears him talking to himself and asks, "Are you saying you lost your virginity to me?"

"Well," the guy explains, "I always wanted to wait until I was with the woman I love to lose my virginity." Astounded, the girl replies,"So you really love me?"

"Oh God no!", the guy says."I just got sick of waiting."

.

Comment by Lowell Brandon on August 5, 2016 at 3:12am

A German man heard that people were throwing Christmas trees out the window, so he thought it would be a good idea toss his tree out the third story window.  Unfortunately for him, he somehow got entangled with the tree as it went out the window, and wound up with severe head injuries.  It just goes to prove Christmas trees are dangerous.  LOL.

Comment by Lowell Brandon on August 5, 2016 at 3:04am

An English gentleman purchased a sherry trifle, intended for Christmas day.  After getting the purchase home, the gentleman was disappointed when he read the label: Use by December 24.

Comment by Lowell Brandon on August 5, 2016 at 3:00am

Warning on a Taiwanese shampoo: USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

Comment by Lowell Brandon on August 4, 2016 at 1:41am

A businessman had recently hired a new secretary.  One day, the boss's most important client was coming in to the office.  The secretary had seen the client once before, and he was the handsomest man she'd ever seen. One of the duties of the secretary was to file important folders properly in the fire cabinet.  The secretary went to lunch just before the client arrived to the office.  The client arrived, and the boss searched frantically for the folder.  It was nowhere to be found.  The secretary arrived back from lunch just as the frustrated client was about to leave.  The boss said, "where in blazes did you put that folder?"

Still dreamy-eyed about the handsome client, the secretary said, "Oh, I filed it under 'sexy', because the client is so gorgeous!

Comment by GREGORY A HEENAN on August 3, 2016 at 10:51pm

Comment by laura52 on August 2, 2016 at 9:57pm

OOPS!  So in trouble!

Comment by GREGORY A HEENAN on August 2, 2016 at 7:51pm

A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his rear end. That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke, and the broken glass c...arved up his buttocks terribly. But,he was so drunk that he didn't know he was hurt. A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood,so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was cut up something terrible.

Well, he repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and he went to bed. The next morning, his head was hurting, and his rear was hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good story, when his wife came into the bedroom. "Well, you really tied one on last night," she said. "Where'd you go?" "I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of beers." "A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied, "You got plastered last night. Where the heck did you go?" "What makes you so sure I got drunk last night,anyway?"

"Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror."

 

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alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"went out for early dinner then shopping got some jeans lol , we got a deal at Mark;s Wharehouse by two pair get 50% off so we saved money"
24 minutes ago
alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"photos Mail on line"
2 hours ago
alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"royals last day they leave tomorrow "
2 hours ago
alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"Barb try refreshing zoomers"
7 hours ago

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