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THE NEW LAUGH OUT LOUD

Tell us your favourite joke and funny experience. This is a feel-good group. All downers will be deleted.
"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone."

 

WARNING!!! May contain nuts.

Members: 89
Latest Activity: on Friday

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Comment by Lynn MacQ on August 1, 2016 at 8:25am

Got caught up on the jokes, loved them all...Get laughs.

Comment by laura52 on July 28, 2016 at 7:24am

LOL, good one.

Comment by Lowell Brandon on July 27, 2016 at 9:34pm

I think my ex is getting kinky.  I walked into the room she was in and asked if she needed anything.  My ex said, "Could you mow the lawn?"

I replied, "May it be as you have spoken, Mistress."

As I walked away to do the mowing, I heard my ex say, "Hmmm...this has possibilities!"

 When I finished mowing, I walked back in the house.  It should have been a clue when I accidently spotted my ex's shopping list:

Whips

Handcuffs

Nightshades

Toys 

Comment by GREGORY A HEENAN on July 19, 2016 at 7:46pm

My wife said to me what is on the TV all i said was dust..... i should be out of hospital by the end of the week

Comment by GREGORY A HEENAN on July 19, 2016 at 12:58pm

A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whisky.
When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?"
The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging".
"Hanging? Who are they hanging?" I said.
"Brown Paper Pete" the bartender replied....
"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked.
"Well......", said the bartender, "........he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes".
"Weird guy....", said the cowboy, ".....but what are they hanging him for?"
"Rustling" The bartender replied

Comment by harold yardy on July 17, 2016 at 7:26pm

Subject: Fwd: Fw: Fwd: : Park bench
 
 

 
 

This morning I was sitting on a bench next to a homeless man, I asked him how he ended up this way.


He said:  "Up until last week, I still had it all!!!  I had a roof over my head, a cook, my clothes were washed & pressed, I had TV, internet, I went to the gym, the pool, the library, school if I wanted..."


I asked him, "What happened?  Drugs?  Alcohol?  Divorce???"


"Oh no, nothing like that" he said.  ".... I got out of prison."

Comment by GREGORY A HEENAN on July 13, 2016 at 3:19pm

.

I went out and bought some gloating cream.
The instructions say
I need to rub it in

.

Comment by GREGORY A HEENAN on July 13, 2016 at 3:16pm

.

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey mate, you gotta get that son of a b*tch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued."
The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you."
He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?"
The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"

.

Comment by GREGORY A HEENAN on July 13, 2016 at 3:12pm

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Loads of Police dogs have vanished into thin air...
Police say they have several leads....

.

Comment by GREGORY A HEENAN on July 13, 2016 at 3:11pm

Paddy's taking his driving test,,,The examiner says "Name me a sign you,d see in the country, Paddy says,,Pick your own strawberries,,,

 

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Community Activity

alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
" think the problem was a loose connection seems ok now barb lev going turn air up its muggy."
1 hour ago
alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"Oddjob from bond movies died today"
7 hours ago
alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"have a good night not much on tv tonight so its mva's award show for me and its "
7 hours ago
alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"last of "ones for monday "
10 hours ago

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