Widowed folk

A place to get to know one another, speak about ourselves and possibly decide to go out and eat Indian food together...or Japanese food....or Italian....etc

Members: 92
Latest Activity: 4 hours ago

Discussion Forum

8 years being a widow

Started by Doreen. Last reply by Doreen Apr 23. 33 Replies

Hello:   This is the first time I have posted and hope someone can understand what I am going thru.   Been widowed for 8 years and now find I have made so many bad decisions.   Now trying to get back…Continue

Is it our hearts or our spirits that suffer the most!

Started by Kathleen Abbott. Last reply by Barbara Apr 14. 29 Replies

Hearts are broken every day, unfortunately but "such is life".  With resourceful use of our time, hearts mend and pieces of it will always be reserved for those we lost and loved.  I fear for my…Continue

8 years being a widow

Started by Doreen. Last reply by Rocketship Apr 14. 13 Replies

Thanks everyone for all your input.   I was making progress about getting my life back and now am sidelined with more stress.   My dog had a fall a week ago and did not see the vet til Thursday as…Continue


Started by John Syme. Last reply by John Syme Jul 29, 2011. 11 Replies

Is love essential to happiness, something two people can grow into (or out of)? Does "friends first" work, or when two people who are good friends get intimate, does it always spoil the friendship? …Continue

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Comment by Rocketship 4 hours ago

This site certainly has been strange this summer!

Oh my goodnessPat!  You sure have had one heck of the summer!!

Hope that Autumn will be better for you!!

I sold my house in late July and have until the end of September to move.    That was the easy part... since then it's been hard work with selling stuff, sorting, giving away stuff...etc. etc. etc.

Wouldn't you know that the lower level toilet seal started to leak the other day so I've been trying to dry up the floor.   My son-in-law will be out this week to put a new seal in.  If that's the worst that happens, I'll be okay.

Since the closing date is only a couple of weeks from when I head west,  I'm just going to move into my daughter's and looks for an apartment when I get back in the Spring.

Not sure how to help with your status problem.  Just below my comment box it says in red..Stop Following... don't click on that.  Other than that, I guess try Settings in the list to the right near the top or where it says 'search' at the top right corner, maybe it will work if you type in HELP!!    Good luck!!!

Comment by Pat Connaughan 4 hours ago

I think I see what is happening.  As soon as I posted that last message, my status changed back to "Don't Follow".  How do I fix that?

Comment by Pat Connaughan 4 hours ago

Here we go again.  I started thinking last week that I hadn't been getting any posts lately - like since the middle of July so I decided this morning that I was going to check things out.  Somehow or another my "Follow" button was turned off.  Needless to say, I have turned it on again.  I don't get out much so you gals are my family and I really miss hearing what everyone is up to.

It has been an up and down summer for me.  First my nephew passed away at the end of June.  Then on my birthday a couple of weeks ago, I got a call from my son who was on holidays in NB.  I assumed that he was calling to wish me a Happy Birthday but instead he was calling to tell me that my great niece had passed away early that morning.  She was 26 and would have been celebrating her first wedding anniversary that weekend.  The saddest part is that she left a 5 week old daughter.  A couple of my nieces and nephews from here were going down to Kitchener for the funeral but nobody offered to take me down so I was home all alone in a funk that whole weekend.  My handyman had to have emergency surgery early in July so he was out of commission for several weeks.  I tried to cut my grass but it was just too hard.  The back wasn't too bad because it is flat.  It was the front that just about killed me.  It is flat for a short piece by the house but then there is quite a steep slope going down to the sidewalk.  My grandsons - with my son's supervision - ended up having to do it when they came up from Ottawa.  He may have to have more surgery so I told him he better have it done soon so that he will be ready to shovel out my driveway when the snow comes.  According to the Farmer's Almanac that is going to be sooner rather than later.

I haven't been up to much this summer.  My garden didn't come the way I hoped it would.  The chipmunks got into my strawberries and ate all of them.  I hope they enjoyed them.  My peas were coming really well but then we got a lot of heavy rain and I guess they go too much water and drowned.  I got a few pods but not very many.  Thank goodness my nephew kept me well supplied from his garden.  The geranium that Jay and Vicki gave me for Mother's Day is still blooming.  I don't know what I did right.  That is the longest I have ever been able to keep one alive.  I planted another kind of flower but I can't remember what it is called.  Chrsyolia or something like that.  I didn't have enough room to plant them the way I was supposed to so I divided the bulbs into 2 rather large planters.  I was just about ready to give up on them because they were nothing but leaves.  Then, lo and behold, they started flowering a couple of weeks ago.  They are a small, white lily-like flower that have a beautiful scent to them.  I hope I can keep them over the winter and then come spring, I will maybe split them up and put some in another large pot.  I have a huge plant in the house that I have to replant but I need someone to carry the pot outside for me.  Jay was here on the weekend but I forgot to ask him to move it for me.  Of course then I wouldn't have been able to get it back into the house.  I'm going to have to work on that one.

Mr Furball is still hanging in there.  He is pretty well blind and has very selective hearing but he is eating and drinking well and doesn't seem to be in any discomfort but I'm just taking it one day at a time.  He is 16 now and I'm enjoying him every day while I still have him.

Speaking of him, he has found me and either wants to go out or wants something to eat.  I'll take him out and then give him a treat.  Kill 2 birds with one stone.  At this time of day, I never know which it he wants so he gets both.


Comment by Pat Connaughan on July 17, 2014 at 10:58am

 Hi Linda

My son and I flew through Pickering a couple weeks ago.  And I do mean flew.  I think my car grew wings and a propeller that day.  He called a friend of his in Oshawa about going through Toronto at 4 or 5 pm and she told him to take 407.  I still haven't gotten the bill from that but it was well worth it.  We saved a lot of time - especially because it was the holiday weekend.

I know how hard it can be looking after someone.  After my dad died, my mother was alone for 2 1/2 years.  She was living in Cambridge and I was up here so it was hard to be of much help to her.  In that time I think I was down there as much, if not more, than I was here with Jim.  She had a bad fall and the social worker at the hospital told her she could no longer live at home.  One of Jim's nieces visited her regularly and kept us updated on how she was doing.  That was a big load off our shoulders.

When Jim was sick I was his sole caregiver 24/7.  I couldn't get anyone who would come in even for just a couple of hours so I could get some rest or go grocery shopping.  My neighbour across the road was going to the post office and getting the mail and always called before they went shopping to see if I needed anything.  If it wouldn't have been for the same niece who spent so much time with mom, I probably would have ended up in the hospital.  I was passing out from exhaustion so her sister called her and Debbie came racing up from Kitchener.  She stayed with him during the night from 11:00 until her sister came or Jay got up.  I don't know how I would have managed that last week before he died without her.

I have a problem.  Does anyone have any ideas on how to keep the chipmunks out of my strawberries?  I was blaming my poor grandson for eating the ripe ones last week but the berries just kept disappearing after he had left.  Then one day this week I caught a chipper feasting on them.  They are even eating the ones that have just started to go from blossoms to little, tiny berries.  It is annoying me because this is the first year I have had any luck with berries and the chipmunks are enjoying them more than I am.

I don't have a car today so I am going to just poke around and do all of those little jobs that I keep putting off.  Maybe I'll go through some of my clothes and pick out everything that is too big for me - which it seems to be just about everything.


Comment by Rocketship on July 15, 2014 at 11:39am

Oh my goodness Linda!!

You are truly 'sandwiched' !!!!   So many don't understand the pressure that caregivers are under!   I applaud all that you're doing my friend!

I'm glad that you are trying to set aside time for yourself!  Aren't pedicures the greatest!!!

Big, Warm Hugsssss!!!!

Comment by Linda Blaschek on July 15, 2014 at 9:34am

Hi Pat and Rocket,

This has been a roller coaster month for me. My girlfriend (severely diabetic) had a double bypass on June 24th. She was having issues with severe nausea and vomiting which caused her not to meet her milestones of standing and walking. She then had a stroke and is in CCU now. She had a breathing tube which may be removed today. So between being with her and communicating with the family and helping the kids with groceries, time has been a blur. On July 9th was Harry's anniversary and on the same day, my son in law's birthday! My mom needs a lot more help and company so I am doing more with her for medical appointments, groceries and visits. Fortunately, my daughter is helping with my in-laws and my son helps with cutting the grass and so on. They are in their later 80's and very prideful. My father in law anyway: stoic German: "I can do it" ha ha. When I get some time to myself I am almost giddy. On Saturday I had the day off until 4 and got in my pedicure! Yaay! First one this year. Had a nap and went to visit my mom.

Pickering has a rainy morning today. At noon "Ruffles" is coming for a visit. I dogsit on occasion and Ruffles is new so he or she is coming to get acquainted with my babes. My pets add to my joy level. Having a visiting dog adds to the fun.

Have a great day everyone and Rocket I wish you a quick sale so you can move on with your plans!

Comment by Rocketship on July 15, 2014 at 7:58am

Hi Pat,

July is sure speeding along!

 It's official.... my house will be on the internet Wednesday.  Sure hope that it sells quickly!   I so want to get on with my life!

You sure are heating up the roads there!

I'm staying close to home this summer since as soon as the house is sold, I'll be looking for an apartment.

The weather so far has being the pitts!  ....more rain than sun and chilly mornings.   The dews are so heavy that it's afternoon before I can cut the grass (more like Autumn mornings...sighhh).

Hope that everyone in this group is having a wonderful summer!!

Cheers!!!    Helen

Comment by Pat Connaughan on July 14, 2014 at 9:50pm

I have no idea what is going on here because I haven't had any posts for quite a while so I don't know what everyone is up to.

My little garden in the planters is coming not too badly.  The peas either got too much rain, sun or both.  They aren't coming nearly as well as they should.  I guess I'll have to find a different place to put them next year.  I have had a few strawberries and they are so good.  My son and 2 of the kids were here on the weekend and I think my grandson ate some of them.  There doesn't seem to be as many as I thought there were.

I have been running the roads the last couple of weeks.  There have been the usual trips to Pembroke and Renfrew for doctors appointments, groomer trips for Mr Furball etc. Just before the July 1 weekend, I learned that one of Jim's favourite nephews had passed away from cancer.  He wasn't much younger than I am.  I knew that if Jim were still here he would have made every effort to go to the funeral but there was no way I could go by myself.  It was in Kitchener and I just can't drive that far any more.  Jay wanted to go to but only if he could work around the arrangements.  Luck was on our side so I drove to Ottawa and met him at his house and we went to Kitchener.  It was a very quick trip but I'm so glad that I was able to go.  A few of my other nieces and nephews were there but I was the only aunt from either side of his family that was there.

Last weekend I was at a family get together that the family of one of his sisters has every year.  It gives me a chance to see all of the ones who I only see once a year and meet any of the new family that has arrived since last year.  I really wanted to go this year because I knew my great-niece was going to be there with her baby.  She is so cute.  Yesterday was my grandson's 7th birthday but I didn't go down to Ottawa.  I saw him on Sat and nobody else was going down so I stayed home and got caught up on my sleep.  I haven't been sleeping that well the last few nights and I was exhausted.  I have to admit, I didn't do too much of anything all day.

It's later than I thought so I think I'll head to bed and read for an hour or so.  Goodness knows there isn't anything on TV to watch. 

Comment by Linda Blaschek on July 7, 2014 at 9:57pm

Hi everyone,

Sorry I have not been writing. I have been very preoccupied with my girlfriend who had a double bypass June 24th. She is a brittle diabetic. Things have been very uphill. She suffered a stroke and is in CCU trying to recuperate. Thinking of you all and wishing you the best. Thunder Bay! Wow Rocket! As if you didn't have enough mosquitoes before!

Comment by Rocketship on July 7, 2014 at 6:03am

It's been extremely rainy here in TBay.  Although we haven't had any wide spread flooding, it has brought out a bumper crop of mosquitoes.

My recent 'step backwards' is getting the sunroom ceiling fixed since it is leaking...sighhhh.

Although the house is informally for sale, I don't feel comfortable formally listing it until it's in perfect condition.

Time is marching on!! ... and I do want to be out of here no later than the beginning of September.

Yes Cynthia.  I sure hope some of that great Okanagan weather will still be there in November!

Hope that all is going well this summer for everyone!! 


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