This morning as I attended Thursday morning service I looked at two names that were crudely scratched into the top of the pew. I had seen these faded names hundreds of times throughout the years but I never really gave it much thought.
Who were E. Virtue and C.…Continue
For at least 8 years I have laughed my head off at the Lifeline Medic Alert commercial where the poor grey-haired woman lays on her kitchen floor screaming for help. Never in my lifetime did I think I would be in the same situation until today. Commercials are just fake right?
As I ventured towards the edge of the front yard where it is no longer lawn and flowers and becomes a small…
Dear Mum and Dad,
I don't know where you have been for the past few days-- but I heard about slot machines and the word Vegas. I have no clue what that is--but did you leave me because my farts clear a room? We were having a very nice time in our home with that lady you picked out to look…Continue
When Poofy Dog first lived in the building, he was one heck of a Dapper Dandy. Poofy was mostly terrier mixed with a bit of this and some of that. Once upon a time he was better dressed that any fashionista with spiffy hats, coats, and quite frankly, a hairstyle that did not quite fit a…
My first book Menopausal Woman From the Corn had a funny story about the trials and tribulations of dying my hair called No, A Serial Killer Did Not Choose My Hair Colour! It was a short tale of some…
The New Meme of the Week-- "Tom Cruising"
A behavioral act of performing something a person may call chancy or jeopardous.
Ever wonder what Dad is doing after you leave…Continue
When I used to have PMS I loved 9 1/2 Weeks
Now it's Fifty Shades of Grey - even with the bad editing and writing, I murmur.
There is no doubt in my mind that in a former life I must have been a dog. I cannot find any other reason why cats hate me so much or inflict me with so many allergens they almost shut my lungs down. It's not that I don't like cats--in fact I love them--but there is something they sense about me they just don't like. I have heard that cats have to think you're worthy to be near you, maybe I am just not worthy!…Continue
I thought I heard it all until yesterday. Things are pretty tight financially everywhere, but to what extent would you go to for a free meal? Brittny Pierre wrote on…
1. Lingerie & pajamas. Bullshit. What do you really sleep in?
A black tshirt. Okay really? I wear Old Navy fleece things I find on sale. This is the year I have discovered…
Yesterday morning I heard aggressive barking from Axel, our German Shepherd, outside the kitchen door. I looked outside and saw a small animal cornered against the house with Axel barely 3 inches away, barking at him.
The poor little guy was so scared that its breathing was incredibly…Continue
Saran Wrap that goes everywhere and nowhere, besides the dish you want to cover.
Socks that refuse to stay up and both up somewhere in middle earth inside your shoe.
Waiting at home for anyone that needs to fix, deliver, or install…Continue
Every night after I finish my work I sit on the couch and blankly stare at the droning TV. A woman seems to never be in control of the remote so I ask the "remote keeper" the same question night after night.
"Is Storage Wars on tonight?"
"Hoarders" is off for the season and I have replaced my quench for strange reality shows with "Storage Wars". The premise is quite simple. Four dealers seek their fortune buying…
Shelley: Thanks for helping me make Shenley's Birthday card. Pretty funny, right?
John: Sure was.
Shelley: Marina's card was so romantic. Why don't you give me cards like that?…Continue
Now there's a headline you don't see every day. A seven-month-old Rhesus Macaque wearing a coat was found shopping at a Toronto Ikea. Darwin was later captured on Sunday afternoon and you have to admit he is definitely cuter than the average Ikea shopper.…Continue
Is this totally necessary?
The big guy of…Continue
It has come to our attention that certain individuals (SNL, Jay Leno, plus countless others,) have been spoofing, ridiculing Brad Pitt’s recently premiered Chanel #5’s commercial. We believe if we explain…
*Warning! Graphic text!
Yesterday my internet was off for over 12 hours. When it crashed I waited for 30 minutes and then banged on the door of our in house IP provider. Every time I tell someone the internet is off I get the same immediate question,
"Are you sure?"…