Amusing Writings: IS STUPIDITY A LEARNED PECULIARITY?

IS STUPIDITY A LEARNED PECULIARITY?

I know I wasn’t always stupid. I have little pieces of paper, somewhere, that say I wasn’t. It seems I actually attended institutions of learning. And wrote and passed exams. That is what the papers say anyway. I apparently found the institution, found the correct building and the right classroom. Now, I get confused in shopping malls.

My memory that so often shames me, refuses to let go of one memory, a time at the Mic Mac Mall, in Dartmouth, NS. I exited the mall and headed to my car. No sign of it. I searched the parking lot for several minutes. Finally, I was convinced it had been stolen. I even remembered a shifty looking young fellow watching me park it. Before I decided to call the police, I asked another shopper walking to her car if she could see a red Camero-anyplace. She looked and then suggested perhaps I had entered the store from another direction. I reentered the store and exited by another door. There sat my car. Once seated in the car, I circled the mall looking for that woman who had made the suggestion. I could not find her. Why I searched for her, I do not know.

Many years, I have no idea how many, I have been driving. I don’t remember getting lost. Now, my grandchildren tell me when to turn left and when to turn right. I know that one of these days, one of them will say, “Grammie, maybe I’d better drive,” and I will probably acquiesce.

And, then, there is the humiliation in the grocery store! I am surprised and, I must admit, a little shocked when the young cashier, who really should be at grade school, asks me if I need help with my groceries to the car. If I can’t carry that paltry bit of groceries, if I may not find the car, should she be aiding and abetting me in getting behind the wheel, driving onto the street and becoming a menace on the highway?

Someone explained to me that this offer to carry groceries is store policy, proffered to all customers. One day, I may hide myself by one of the check-out counters, perhaps in the playhouse by the child-friendly one. Then, I will see whether the offer is being made to the pony-tail crowd. I dread to think what they will say if someone spots me crouched among the Lego toys and puppets while I glare at the cashier... maybe I won’t do that.

I curled once upon a time. They promoted me into the “Sundown League”. Then, after a few people watched us play -I thought to get pointers -it was felt that “Twilight League” was more apt. I guess they figured we were even closer to the end of the day than sundown.

I see advertisements in the newspapers for seniors to go back to work. I can still work. Maybe I’ll apply for that one at the pickle factory. I think I could sprinkle the salt over the tomatoes without any confusing comings and goings. If someone would find the vats for me...and devise a method to release the exact amount of salt.


I know people who frequent this site write but I can't find a Writing Group so i'm using the Blog section-please direct me if I'm lost. LOL. I hope others will share their 'jottings'.

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Comment by Kevin Baker on September 8, 2010 at 4:07pm
Forgetfull? Who me? Can't be , but I'm too young I sez. Now where was I ? oh yes, Hon did you see my memory card? It was here just aminute ago, I'm trying to write my memoirs............
Comment by Rita Kennie on September 6, 2010 at 9:34am
I wouldn';t worry about it, this is true., what I'm saying. My husband came home and almost put his laundry in the fridge, caught himself in time. Myself, I never had a good memory, it comes in handy, I don't mull over what happened last week.
Comment by Alex on September 6, 2010 at 7:50am
It's fun to read the comments of the rest of you and know that I'm not alone. Eugene made me laugh as he reminds me of my husband who says " How come you can remember every thing I have ever done wrong but can't remember what you've had for breakfast?"
Comment by Gene S. on September 3, 2010 at 2:43pm
Our increasing forgetfulness - I refuse to call it "stupidity"- can be useful as well as frustrating. It allows us to keep trying today somethig that didn't work yesterday and find that it DOES work. Yesterday we must have pushed the wrong button. On the other hand I wish my wife would forget what (allegedly - because of course I don't remember it) I did wrong at 3:17 on a Tuesday afternoon 12 years ago and instead remember that I said five minutes ago how beautiful she is. Oh! Maybe I did not say it to my wife but to another woman. Just kidding.
Comment by Edith Francis on September 3, 2010 at 1:02pm
Hm-mmmmm, let me see...Is it 'stupidity? Nooo :))...I'd like to say that perhaps we've come to a time when we've used up much of the space on our 'memory cards'...I am one who had lists and lists ad.. (whatever)...I can remember at university I carried such an overload of courses and work schedules that I often had to remind myself to have a meal or to get some sleep! Anyhoo, I enjoyed your blog so much and laughed so loudly at seeing a replica of myself in your writings... It's great to be able to laugh at one's self...it makes us healthier to have all those endorphins swerling about in our heads - perhaps helping us find those memory cards or those little sticky note to keep us from losing ourselves on an hourly basis...And- Yes, what a great idea to have "a group of writers of amusing things" among us! Anticipating such great stories- would certainly remind us to check out the Zoomer's on-line "Writer's Group" for added enjoyment...LOL
Comment by gerard d'anjou on September 3, 2010 at 3:29am
very good ,you had put my feelings down in a way that I could never find the words, for me its almost time to put my name and address on the back of my shirt[s] ,just in case I forget where I live ,welcome to the 'golden years , or in B.C. we say the 'rusty years. [since it rains and rain and rains a lot...] again a great and amusing story.thanks.
Comment by Alex on September 2, 2010 at 5:26pm
Hello Mirami
thank you for posting. There are so many of us who feel better now. I think I have discovered what happens to our cars whilst we are in the mall. The Lot attendants must have duplicate keys - they wait until 5 or 6 more mature people have gone into the mall and then move their cars around. They then hide behind the shopping carts and wet their pants laughing as we crazily gaze around for our vehicles!!!


Well, you never know it could be true - I'm always accusing my car of hiding on me!!
Comment by Michael Elkin on September 2, 2010 at 2:31pm
Hi Mirami,
I certainly agree that all of us need to use some kind of co-ordinate aid in places like shopping centers, but I can recall losing cars and such when I have half my current age! As to shopping centers, they aren't designed to make it easy to get from point A to point B, but rather to get you to walk by as many stores as possible so you'll spend more!
Comment by Elizabeth Reynolds on September 2, 2010 at 1:45pm
Hi Mirami,
I am a retired Special Education Teacher so I learned all about the memory aids which could be useful in certain situations. For example...before I park my car at the mall I find the entrance closest to the washrooms. That way I can go on my way out and know where to locate my car!! I make lists...lots of lists...they consist of items like: mail letter, go to bank, go to grocery store, go to mall and most importantly go to liquor store on the way home. When did I start doing that??? I think I'm really smart when I remember to take a bag with me when I go into the grocery store but I forget what I went there for!!! The good news is that most of the time no one is around to witness the missteps....shhhhhh don't tell!!!

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