I am writing this tonight because I need to share something. I found out a friend of mine, a cyber friend, lost their wife this past week. It was very sudden. It came on the heels of so much else, job loss, losing his home and now his wife suddenly passing.
I sit here in this decorated home, with so many presents waiting to be opened, children sleeping upstairs and dogs down for the night. I sit here thinking about my friend. We have never met but he and others were writers on another site. We all read each other's work, we built a community and then another way to chat on facebook with some groups. For some of us this is an important part of our lives. It is the interaction and the creative outlet that we need because we do not have that in our regular lives.
Over the years I have always been with people, volunteering, working, being a mom, I wore many hats like most women do. These last few years of writing, significant writing, have helped me focus and revert back to myself. It has allowed me to get at the core of so many things that were once important to me, but no longer had the time for. A focus on me the person was allowed, not just me the mom or the wife. I have grown.
Many people write. They write the words which remain unspoken because if they were said aloud, there might not be anyone there to hear them. I have been hearing those words from many of my friends online. We are a life line for each other.
Christmas will probably never be the same for my friend who just lost his wife. I don't see how it could be. I look around this house and see all the decorations, the abundance of food and cookies, home made, once a year kind of extravagance; and I think. I think about my friend and others like him who have lost so much in the last few months and now this. How incredibly sad it all is. My heart is very disturbed by all this pain.
Since we were married my husband and I have always made an effort to donate to someone at this time of year, to show our appreciation of having "enough".
Many times it was a simple little gesture like sending money for thread to women at a rural church who were quilting for people who needed blankets, children in hospitals. Mostly prompted by newspaper stories, we would find something that would just jump out at us, and we would say, " this is where our extra bit will go this year".
When I started writing this, I had not thought of my friend, but suddenly with all this attempt at expressing my sorrow and grief over his situation, his wife's unexpected passing, I see the thread of my action.
Christmas is just about here, and I now know where I am.