Black Eyes, Blue Tears, and Dark Thoughts

This Blog was done in answer to Writer's Wednesday- "Penny for Your Thoughts"

Warning-Graphic Thoughts Below!

At five a family relative took my life away from me and no one cared. I remember being held on his knee and slowly being fed beer. The taste was sour in my mouth and to this day anytime I smell it I grow cold. I remember the feel of chafed hands and the echoes of dark laughter coming from his mouth. The silent screams still try to exit my mouth every day always followed by immediate darkness.

I remember glancing at the dark woodwork trim as he carried me up the stairs. Sounds of old metal springs still ring in my ears as I was placed on a bed and then I remember nothing. I still endure the mental pain and tears are forever engraved on my skin. I gave him love and he gave me pain.

What do you say when you are five and who will believe you? How can you possibly figure out in your young mind what just happened? Your mother sits in a hospital room fighting for her life every day and your father is preoccupied with life. You say words but they are never heard and life just goes on.

Finally one day someone finally understands that someone hurt you and tells your father. In those days no one said a word, and all the ugly details were quickly swept under the rug. All I can remember is that we never went to that man's home again and my father stopped talking to the family. That was it - no repercussions  no warnings, end of story. Meanwhile the memories carry on to this day like the waves of the sea. Not only was my body ravaged but my mind will forever hold the scars of violence. 

Penny for my thoughts about the subject now? There should never be any question or argument about someone that endured violence-physical or emotional. The abused need compassion and all the love you can muster up in your heart, as they will never forget the volume of pain inside or out. No matter how many years go by dark footsteps will follow me forever, along with stained eyes and blue tears, because voices and thoughts always carry.

Photos: Linda Seccaspina 2013

The Humm just published another of my stories in their newspaper and online page 7

 

 

http://www.thehumm.com/current_issue.htm

 

 

www.Hypersmash.com

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Views: 203

Tags: abuse, assault, child, molestation, rape, sexual-assault, violence

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Comment by Linda Seccaspina on February 14, 2013 at 9:15pm

zannelle.. I dont know what I would do with out all of you

Comment by Zanelle on February 14, 2013 at 8:56pm

I'm so sorry.  You are strong and brave.  I am glad you found some happiness in life. 

Comment by Linda Seccaspina on February 13, 2013 at 6:12pm

Love the heart,,, Roy thank you

Comment by CreekEnd_UK on February 13, 2013 at 2:37pm

I'm speechless too.

Comment by Linda Seccaspina on February 13, 2013 at 7:24am

I write Marsha.. so others will see that they are not alone

Comment by Marsha Shearer on February 13, 2013 at 6:50am

You write for many; too many.  You are a remarkable woman.

Comment by Linda Seccaspina on February 13, 2013 at 12:34am

you betcha Gabe

Comment by Linda Seccaspina on February 13, 2013 at 12:20am

Gaeb.. sometimes I wish the horror stories would end

Comment by Linda Seccaspina on February 12, 2013 at 10:41pm

Thanks Margaret love you

Comment by margaret clay jacob on February 12, 2013 at 9:59pm

I'm so sorry my friend for all you have had to endure in your life, Linda. And the monster went free looking for his next victim which is the way it was back at the time.  Love you xox

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