Somewhere, someplace, I lost my mind. Possibly left it out in the garden, somewhere, but it's too dark right now to go look for it and besides, I'm doing quite fine without it.

A teacher once told me, "You'll make a fine door stop someday!" and I think I'm getting closer to that goal every day.

Someday, when I'm old and near death, I'll tell my house boy, Tina, that I tried to be the best door stop a man could be and now it's time for him to go out and continue the tradition.

I have no children to pass on my wisdom to, a sad thing, I know, so everyday I wander the streets yelling out random factoids at people. It's just like I had kids without all the messy diaper changes but now that I think about it, who's going to change my diapers when I'm older? 


He's imaginary!

Anyways, tonight's wisdom is DON'T DO SOMETHING. 

I'm not sure what.

Nancy Reagan once told me from the TV screen that my brain was eggs and I shouldn't fry them.

Fried eggs are bad for your heart apparently.

She also said, SAY NO TO DRUGS which I did. For awhile.

But well, then I got a headache and I was like, SCREW YOU NANCY, I'M SAYING YES TO ASPIRIN!!!

"Those are good drugs but don't take the whole bottle, get a tummy ache and die!"

I didn't care, it was a big headache. 

Life is magical with the right kinds of drugs.

My life coach, Sid, who sits at the bus stop where I go to think and well, wait for the bus, says "You should only take the right kind of drugs and not the bad kind, like the ones who make you bleed out your butt. I'd rather deal with allergies then those side effects!"

And I agreed. He only charges me two Tootsie Rolls.

Anyways, I just felt like writing tonight. I hope you are all having a good day.night.whatever and remember, don't play leap frog with a unicorn!!!

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Tags: fiction


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Comment by Jason Giecek on April 17, 2014 at 6:23pm

Nancy got a lot!!! :( :D

Comment by Linda Seccaspina on April 14, 2014 at 3:38pm

ONly two tootsie rolls? No tootsie rolls? Must dig out of the cupboard now. Hmm maybe Nancy Reagan got them


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