FORWARDED TO PRESIDENT OBAMA CAUSE I NO KNOW PRESIDENT PUTIN'S ADDRESS.
We're not that close anymore!
Dear Mr. President, I'm sitting here watching the news and decided to write President Putin a letter but since I don't have his email, so I'm sending the letter to you. You can forward it on to Putin and see if he wants to come with me to the state hospital for some meds and macaroni art.
If not, then send VP Biden over there. I think him and a baseball bat is all we need. Kerry can hold down Putin as Biden does what he does best!!!
LETTER TO PUTIN -
Dear Mr. Putin, I've heard from some folks, links to your pee pee, that you are losing touch with reality, that you think it is 1967 or something and you are Commander in General of the space marines.
I understand that. I sometimes like to pretend I'm awesome and cool and have a huge pee pee. With a pair of tweezers and a magnifying glass, anything is possible.
Please Mr. Putin, stop your invasion of what you think is Mars Base 1209 which is in fact the Ukraine and we can draw pictures together, maybe Obama, who we in this country blame for everything, so I don't see why you couldn't blame him for stuff too, and he can be holding a magic twanger and riding a donkey and underneath it we could write something obscene in Russian but tell Obama it says, YOU DA AWESOME!! And we'll laugh about it.
Around 3ish, the nice nurses will come in and bring us meds that will make the voices in our head to talk space speak.
That's much better than invading countries.
Commander Z'Klan Khan of Alpha Mission aka Jason