Warning: If anyone thinks this article is going to have something to do with Ray Davies of The Kinks-- better move along.

Once upon a time in 1914, the San Francisco Armory was built with the intention of serving the population of the city. It offered swimming and sporting events: such as prizefighting and served as a stronghold for one and all. The building became known in later years as a cursed "herd of white elephants" and the front steps of the main entrance have also become a well known skateboarding location referred to as "3-Up 3-Down".

In 2006 Peter Acworth bought it for $14.5 million, and converted the building at Mission and 14th streets into Kink.com where according to his website: “it has continued to grow into the world's most recognized company promoting human sexuality”. In layman’s terms it is basically studios producing his bondage films.

But as the SF Chronicle reported, the tap of a keyboard could replace the crack of a whip at a San Francisco porn studio as Kink.com seeks city permission to convert its adult film production facility at the landmark Armory on Mission Street into standard office space. (Notes from the future: “Why does my cubicle smell like Astroglide?")

California state and local health regulations are making it increasingly difficult for adult entertainment businesses in California, said Peter Acworth, who owns both building and kink.com. According to The Chronicle:


"We absolutely would like to stay" in San Francisco", he said Wednesday. "But we started considering the change last year when we asked the question 'What if ...?' "


It should be known that Acworth was the only buyer who basically didn't harm the historical integrity of the building and found a way to make money in the process. Of course, things have changed in the city since the last development battle over the armory. I can just see some of these city developers rubbing their hands together thinking about how many condos could be built if only this pesky bit of SF history could be mowed down.

Acworth and company have been good neighbors. They took a giant, beautiful old building that no one else wanted, cleaned it up, and refurbished it. There was an attempt to move tech into The Armory back in Dot Com days and the neighborhood had a fit. Now that the Mission is full of techies maybe it will happen. Will the new visitors now be asked to use the "back door"?


Cal/OSHA regulations suggest that performers not only use condoms, but dental dams, gloves and eye protection when engaging in non-simulated sex. The proposed and existing rules "virtually criminalize" the adult film industry and would be both expensive and unfeasible to follow, Acworth said,


"The state's adult industry work rules, for example, "call for the protection of all mucous membranes, which means performers would have to wear goggles to protect their eyes" during scenes involving the transmission of bodily fluids."

I can't think of anything more exciting than an adult film where the performers are all wearing goggles, dental dams, and condoms like Dustin Hoffman in Outbreak. The hazmat suits do kind of put a damper on things, and there is always that slip and fall hazard. I've got it: market it as Steampunk Porn.


The proposed changes would allow a much wider range of uses for the building, which is now limited almost entirely to porn films, adult websites and the offices to support that business, Acworth said. Several spaceship-interior scenes in the movie Star Wars were filmed there, and the San Francisco Opera used the large inner court of The Armory for set construction and rehearsals until the mid-1990's. These new plans certainly fits in with modern San Francisco: a boring, expensive city filled with twenty something computer nerds who spend their lives developing the latest version of MySpace and Pets.com. Before they are through, the city will be as exciting and experimental as a convention of insurance actuaries.


Any decision about moving his adult film business out of San Francisco is a ways away, he said.
Who ever thought boredom would now include Internet videos where slackjawed drones say "ohbabyohbaby" so unconvincingly. Like everything else porn is now in the free download era. So now does this mean conventional business is now more profitable than the sex business? Who ever knew financial penetration would eventually go that deep in the centrefold?

“So the universe is not quite as you thought it was.
You'd better rearrange your beliefs, then. Because you certainly can't rearrange the universe.”

― Isaac Asimov Robert Silverberg

Extra reading:   Linda "Love Laces" a Tour of a Kinky House of Pain...

Photos: Linda Seccaspina

Thanks again to my BFF Kevin for another hot tip hahaha

Views: 290

Tags: fetish, real-estate, real-estate-san-francisco, san-francisco-armory,  adult-movies,  bondage,  business,  fetish-porn,  film,  peter-acworth, More… porn,  porn-movies,  porno,  sex,  sexy,  star-wars,   kink.com

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Comment by Linda Seccaspina on April 10, 2014 at 8:34pm

ohbaby is right hahaha

Comment by Shelley Smith on April 10, 2014 at 10:32am

Ohbaby!

Comment by Linda Seccaspina on April 8, 2014 at 7:01pm

Stepford wives with Goggles

Comment by Kevin Army on April 8, 2014 at 6:23pm

Porn isn't my thing, but something about the porn leaving SF does seem very wrong, and I think you got that it signals this boring direction the bay area is getting stuck with. And goggles just seems a bit overboard, just not sexy, though I'm sure there's someone out there that can't wait for that to happen....

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