I would like to thank all the people who made this possible, my gym coach, who pushed me so hard, I thought about killing him many, many times but instead, I just wounded him with a racquet ball to the nuts.
My girl friend Lawanda, whose dandling with spiritualism and witch craft opened a gateway to Hell which she was sucked into and never seen again.
To my folks for not going through with the abortion or post birth abortion.
To all the wonderful folks at Shady Pine Rest Home, where I was giving adequate care at low prices, just like their ad said!
To the hookers who said, You can do it, and meant it.
I love you guys, the money is on the table!
To all my fans, all twelve of them!! Each of you has made this Oscar a reality! Thank you! Thank you! And especially you!!!!
I would thank my stylist, but she sucks.
Thank you to my lovely wife Lisa for whom I wrote my book which the movie was based, "You a dirty lying whore Lisa!!! But I love you anyways!!!" Kiss kiss!
To my wonderful children....wait....all my children are evil! Screw you kids!!! Daddy hates you!
To all those folks at those publishing houses that said my book sucked, well, screw you too, look at me now Mom!!!!!
Love love and kiss kiss to everyone of you out there in the audience, thanks for caring, and the bribes promised will be sent out tomorrow!!
Thank you Madam Deloris, where ever you are!!
And to my brother George, this one is for you!! May you rot in Hell!!!
And thank you Fargo, North Dakota and Duluth Minnesota!!!
I have no frucking clue!!!!
Thank you to my gay lover Winston who read through the script twenty three times and hated it for twenty two!!!! I love you Winston!!
And what the hell, thank you one and all!!!!