The Intervention of the Grow-Op Bears by 90210 - an update

 

 

This morning I received an email from Help Save the BC Black Bears on Facebook. Calgarian Doreen McCrindle has become the human voice for bears that cannot speak for themselves, as she says. She wants Canadian government support for older bears and sows with cubs that may have spent their entire lives relying on humans for food. Instead of putting them to death when caught she wants non-lethal options, like putting the bruins in a zoo or sanctuary.

 

"Between the oil sands and the Stampede, I think Canada has an embarrassing record for being animal rights activists."

Conservation officer Dave Webster said the bears are being given a chance and it's too early to say how they will fare in relying on regular bear ways to survive.

Those who can't "assimilate in a natural state," finding food in the wilds, especially with winter on its way, will likely be put down, he said.


Today I decided to re-write a parody essay I wrote about a true story that happened in Canada last year. If it gives you a chuckle then take a cyber walk on the wild side over to their Facebook site and say "HI!" I am sure they would greatly appreciate it, and so would "da bears."

 

 

                  The Intervention of the Grow-Op Bears by 90210 - by Linda Seccaspina

 

 

On July 30th, Canadian police officers made a routine drug raid in a remote area of British Columbia.

When the Police arrived 13 bears were guarding 2300 marijuana plants. The bears were pretty docile, and listening to the Grateful Dead while munching on blueberries, and chugging Molson Canadian beer.

Daily rations of dog food had been fed to them by the owners of the property, so they were there to stay. They actually welcomed the police with high fives and a traditional "Welcome eh?"

Being Canadian, they were extremely polite, and swore to the Police that none of them had inhaled.

No animals were harmed during the raid that included a pot-bellied pig and a raccoon that was taking a nap in one of the farmhouse's bedrooms. The raccoon told them he was actually guarding the stash on the night table. He too was polite to the officers, and asked one of them,

"Hey man, are you going to eat those Cheetos?"

Upon exiting the farmhouse, the bears were found outside sharing Hostess potatoe chips and playing road hockey. The police were shocked to find a few familiar furry faces among the crowd of bears.
Out of work bears such as: Conan's Masturbating Bear, and Yogi and Boo Boo were trying to hide their faces from the paparazzi that had followed the police.

Boo Boo was crying and told Yogi that he was afraid that the Jellystone National Park Ranger was also going to bust them if he found out. Yogi stood there with a dumb grin on his face and giggled,

"Don't worry Boo Boo. I'm higher than the average bear!"

The Care Bears argued with the officers that they had used only medical marijuana and had a permission note from the local Veterinarian. The police attempted conversations with the bears, insisting they should consider applying to A&E's show "Intervention". The bears looked at the officers in jest and asked them,

 

"Does a bear smoke pot in the woods?”

 

In yesterday's issue of "Toke of the Town" Jason Priestley of 90210 fame has vowed to save the BC Marijuana bears. Priestley and his parents have actually donated $1,250 of their own money to the cause.

"It's one thing to have a petition and have a lot of really nice ideas and a warm, fuzzy response", Priestley said. "We kind of figured somebody's got to start putting up the money to either move the bears someplace where they'll be safe or support a place where they'll be safe."

 


(Quote from Toke of the Town)

When asked if Priestly thought he had a good chance saving the bears he said,

 

"I'm just a student body president man, I am not Batman." !
        - Brandon Walsh 90210

 

 

 

Dorreen McCrindle started a Help Save the BC Bears Facebook page, and through a petition, has drawn hundreds of signatures to help save the bears.

Donate to the Help Save the BC Black Bears

 

Words by Linda Seccaspina 2010

Image by Canadian Press

 

 

Short Shorts by Linda Seccaspina

 

 

 

 

 

 

Views: 124

Tags: 90210, animals, bears, beer, brandon, british, bust, canada, colbert, columbia, More…comedy, drug, drugged, drugs, eh?, is, molson, on, pigs, pot-bellied, raccoons, this?, walsh, where

Comment

You need to be a member of Zoomer to add comments!

Join Zoomer

Comment by Linda Seccaspina on July 6, 2011 at 9:28pm
Bleue.. it is.. it is extremely annoying to get run over every day..or attempted:)
Comment by l'heure bleue on July 6, 2011 at 6:23pm
If I was guarding 2300 mj plants I'd be docile too, pass the cheetos please. Your short short bothered me, is it a massive burden for people to obey or be courteous?
Comment by Linda Seccaspina on July 6, 2011 at 3:31pm

Steve: If those are Humboldt County Bears they must be wayyyyyyyyyyyy laid back..:)

Justin: Dave??? the dead guy from Wendy;s???:)

BSB: Oh we know that.. nudge nudge wink wink.

Marsha: Canadian Stoner Bears are very laid back too.. and polite.:)

Comment by Marsha Shearer on July 6, 2011 at 2:52pm
I didn't chuckle...I gaffawed!  I got these mental images of stoned bears, totally enthralled with (and by!) their surroundings.  So now we know where they get that ferocious appetite!  Seriously, Linda, absolutely one of your best! 
Comment by Bluestocking Babe on July 6, 2011 at 2:31pm
Those rascals! Of course they inhaled :)
Comment by Jason Giecek on July 6, 2011 at 1:48pm
Dude, Dave's not here man!! What? :D
Comment by Linda Seccaspina on July 6, 2011 at 1:02pm

this just came in and was not my my newsletter..

Congrats

 

Post-July 4th Cannon Blasts: "So Fourth of July is over and we all heard both the Capitol Fourth celebration and the Boston Pops play the final themes of the 1812 Overture on national television just prior to the fireworks. Why the 1812?" -
Toritto's So Why The 1812 Overture??

"God Bless The Child"Lisa Schnaidt's Reading, Writing & Mom

Comment by Steve S on July 6, 2011 at 12:53pm

I think I met two of these bears near Richardson Grove in Humboldt County.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They seem to have adjusted to domestic life quite well.

Comment by Linda Seccaspina on July 6, 2011 at 12:47pm

yserba: Are you sure they have no smelled any fumes from outside??:)

Mary: LOL never thought of that.:)

Comment by Mary Katherine Manuel on July 6, 2011 at 12:44pm

I suppose Smokey the Bear would not let them smoke pot in the woods but I bet they can eat brownies baked in the sun.

Very cool article

Members

Community Activity

alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"LynneG I thought it was BA but could be wrong"
30 minutes ago
Glady Dixon commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"Laura52   Yup, the no wind, for a change, was nice.  We have had a lot lately."
48 minutes ago
Glady Dixon commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"Barb   Cuff is taking Behr out frequently.  He is using his computer a lot and watching TV movies.  He is not bored, YET !"
52 minutes ago
alexander Mollison commented on alexander Mollison's group The Kitties
"Wednesdays hidden "ONE" was here"
1 hour ago

© 2014   Part of the Zoomer Interactive Network.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

google-site-verification: googlef2bf84fe9dda65cb.html