The Schadenfreude News: Early Edition
Schadenfreude News
November 30, 2011 Early Edition 50 cents
“All the News That Creates a Giggling Fit”
TOP STORIES
POLITICS
Gingrich Wife: “I Had Affair With Herman Cain”
“So did we,” admit Newt’s two ex-wives
Congress Accidentally Eliminates Own Salaries
Typo in 1,500-page bill will save America millions annually
Rick Santorum Drops Out of Race Following Bar Scandal
Insists he didn’t know The Horny Pecker had gay clientele
Wisconsin Governor Walker Recalled
Belongings moved from Governor’s mansion by unionized company
Rush Limbaugh Admitted to Betty Ford Clinic
Claims he bit Ann Coulter because Oxycontin made him think she was turkey leg
NATIONAL
Casey Anthony Drowns Off Florida Coast
Nearby children didn’t hear her cries for help
Rare Bird Species Creates Nest in Donald Trump’s Hair
Removal would be violation of Endangered Species Act
INTERNATIONAL
Berlusconi, Strauss-Kahn Dead in Murder-Suicide
After discovering each had pawed the other’s daughter
New Miss Universe is From Nigeria
“Why doesn’t Jason Giecek answer my emails?” she wails
BUSINESS
Fox News Loses Broadcasting License
Evidence of violations gathered when Rupert Murdoch’s phone was hacked
Bank CEO Dies After Eating Tainted Caviar
Eaten after speech defending economic inequality
New Social Media Website Makes Facebook Worthless
Mark Zuckerberg files for bankruptcy
SCIENCE
Cutthroat Businessmen Finish First, Study Shows
Report on premature ejaculation published in NEJM
SPORTS
Penn State Fails to Attract New Football Recruits
Team may have to disband
Suck for Luck: Indy Colts Finish 0-16, Clinch #1 Draft Pick
Andrew Luck returning to Stanford for senior year, refuses to play for “crappy team”
GOSSIP
Ashton Kutcher Loses Penis in Tragic Accident
Demi Moore reportedly dating Ryan Gosling
Carrot Top Loses Voice Following Routine Throat Surgery
Comedy clubs offer free admission in celebration
11th Letter Mysteriously Disappears From Alphabet
im ardashian decries inability to promote self, family
WEATHER
Local forecast: Sunny, mild temperatures, mid 70s
Where your ex lives: Nor'easter expected, high winds and rain, power outages likely
Comment
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Comment by Cranky Cuss on December 4, 2011 at 12:22pm -
James: What is this OS of which you speak? I have heard rumors of a magical place where people blog happily, but have seen no proof, only "Internet Explorer can not display the webpage." I suspect is an urban myth.
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Comment by James M. Emmerling on December 4, 2011 at 10:32am -
you forgot LOCAL.
all news is local these days, they say. i agree. my locality is the Internet.
it is in my head. that's as local as a fellow gets.
local news= man on internet in blue shirt named James is
thrown violently off OS , unable to do a damn thing, ironically viewing
art james is somehow getting thru, also ironically seeing kerry l's promise of bigger
faster better, and wishing to write
some kinda thing.
i dunno what kinda thing til OS inspires me to . maybe: vampires. watching true blood now.
season 3. little blonde chick is a fairy! ha
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Comment by Matt Paust on December 1, 2011 at 2:45pm -
I read somewhere that you had won the schadenfreude cookoff. I now can see why. Yummm. I'd say what Cranky said, but he didn't comment here, so I'll say what Steve and Linda said. Can't think of my own thing to say? That's a good question. I'll get back to you.
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Comment by Steve S on November 30, 2011 at 12:09pm
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Welcome to da Great Northern Smackdown.
"I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me."
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Comment by Linda Seccaspina on November 30, 2011 at 9:39am -
Well that opened my eyes this morning..:) and laughter
I posted your link in their Challenge blog so they will see it. If you have a chance mayve you can add it.. as sometimes they think I am duplicating mine hahaha
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